A few weeks ago I was reading an interesting blog post. This post was more about a method of child-rearing and it made me think about how it could be used in any form of relationships.
Before I go to far, here’s the blog post that I am talking about. The article talks about the Rubber Band Method for children. Read the article, I’ll wait! 🙂
Ok, so now that you’ve read the article, let’s talk! The basis around it is great! Three rubber bands and you can move them only when you caught the child doing good things. It makes your mind focus on the good. Reinforce the good. Genius, but how can you apply that to other relationships? Although it takes a little tweaking depending on the relationship you are doing this for, there are countless ways! You just have to look, and I’ll give you some ideas.
Let’s start with something easy: how about your relationship with your partner? Did he just leave his dirty socks on the floor? Did you see the mess she made in the bathroom? Those daily annoyances that cloud the ability to see the overall big picture of why you chose to be with this person? I bet you feel something similar to the mom of the blog post did. Here’s where you take those 3 rubber bands and put them on one arm, then interact with your partner. Now, catch them doing something, anything really, that is good and then say “Thank You”. At that point, move the rubber band. Did he open the door for you? Did she make you your favorite dinner just because it’s Tuesday? Many people tend to overlook the wonderful things that we have in our lives. I’ll admit, there’s been days where I hadn’t thanked or even showed appreciation to Mr. B for the many things that he does to help make both of our lives run smoothly. Instead of coming home and complaining that he could of started Laundry since he beat me home, I need to notice that hey he did the dishes or made dinner or got something ready for me because I’m running late for a meeting. We need to stop and look around at the good, stop complaining about what didn’t get done. We need to remember that the relationship is more of a partnership. Mr. B is my partner, therefore I need to respect and treat him like a partner.
Now, let’s make it a little harder: what about your relationship with God? As humans we have a bad habit of ignoring the good things that are going on around us. We forget to thank our partners, we sometimes ignore our children, and sometimes we just tend to focus on the wrong things. So here’s how you can use the rubber band method for your relationship with God. Start off with the three rubber bands on one arm. You can only move a rubber band when you take notice of God’s greatness, but it can be something as simple as waking up in the morning, you are alive! Need more examples, how about having a friend of yours just announce they are pregnant after years of trying: Praise God and move a rubber band!
My feelings are this: you can alter the Rubber Band method to fit you and the relationships that you think could use some focus. Try not to make it hard to move a rubber band. If you make it to hard, then you might find yourself stressing about the fact that you haven’t moved a rubber band and it’s almost time to get into bed.
So try it!
Until next time,